Wishing my life away

A working Saturday…not my ideal way to spend a weekend. Anyway, it is almost ending now. I have been sleeping a lot lately. Not discussing my feelings to anybody in detail. I just go in the flow of their topics of conversation. Nodding. Responding. Smiling. Actually, I myself am not sure how am I feeling in precise sense. Unaffected. Well that’s not true. Things affect me. Pretty much. After a long time, I have re-started eating in company of some office colleagues. Almost been two months. For some reason, it makes me feel bounded. I have to eat fast, because otherwise I am tortoise paced. They speak other language, and I don’t find myself curious even to ask. I think I am being too harsh. They are nice people but I do feel restrained. I like my kind of people. I have some. I like talking about movies, words, shopping and other funny stuff and not about job and career and work! I like to eat sweet corn sitting by the bus stand, talking and I like having ice cream and sharing it from the same cup. Well, then again I prefer it with specific entities. Why so specific! Why so choosy? God knows. I like the idea of imaginary bubble world. I mean what’s so wrong about it if it brings smile to your face! Reality is hard and demands a mature you. May be I am good with my own stupid thoughts and impromptu decisions that go on and off! I don’t know how one plans future because I never have. I might have pictured some pretty things like a swing in my own house, some cozy movie night along with my guy in the couch, long walks etc etc..but this is not planning future right. For now, bubble world is good, it is comforting me. I’ll come back to reality intermittently and check if I can handle it.

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