Whatever it is that is holding me back, it is time to put that aside. I think, in general, I have always been an under-confident person, time and again self doubting my capabilities. Sometimes even settling for the less I am afraid. Until I try, I wouldn’t know. Right? Being an optimist helps, because then you see the good in people and find a silver lining in every perplexing situation. That, be good and good comes to you theory y’all! Keeps me content. But for the longest time, I have not felt a drive to prove something, to achieve something, to reach a finish line. I think I will go ahead and set a goal just to amuse myself. As a person, I want to be ever-changing, ever-growing. And if that insists me to step out of my comfort zone, so be it. Let’s do this. To the new challenges and upcoming earnest efforts!
Time flies by when you are happy. A very true statement by some anonymous guy who quoted it. What do I do? Recollect every beautiful moment spent in the past few months and pen it down? Mind does a quick retort: let it be. So I try not to run amok backwards. Keep myself focussed on the now.
Another itching fact about time is, it never stops. Keeps running so darn unaffectedly. Everyday, you are changing, people around you are changing, molecules colliding, chemical reactions happening, drama, frenzy, doldrums, emotions. When I can barely control the miniscule event of a leaf accidentally crackling under my foot, why bother controlling humans, their actions or the consequences there on?!
Lahe Lahe..this is an Assamese phrase I got to know from a recent trip to the North East part of India. What it means is, to take it easy! Stay unhurried. One of the many lovely things I am taking back from the place.
Belated New year wishes to all! 🙂 I’ll be around.
It is strange how sometimes the regular stuff you do becomes irregular and out of sync. Like I am reading after long today, lying awake at 3.25 in the morning, taking screen shots of quotes I like, watching TV shows I enjoy, listening to interviews of my favorite actors, doing stuff I regularly do, after a long pause in time. Have been busy of late, happily busy if I may add. But this feels right. No judgements; no opinions. Safe space in my own bubble.
My bff told me, these are my escape routes, things that I do when I am alone. But it ain’t quite true. I find comfort in these things. I am missing time to do these mundane things. So..what do we do, when world around us changes? We change a bit too, yet keep intact these proclivities. Quirks that make you, you.
If you have read even a slight bit of my posts, you might know that I am a night owl, night-o-holic, nyctophile, name it whatever. I love the nights and everything surrounding it. The peace, the quiet, the entwined length of it, the sea of ideas, nostalgia, reflection, contemplation, I could go on and on.
A few days back, I met with an accident, which again you might/might not be privy to from my previous posts. Any which way, I started going by company cab, instead of my bike; I have booked it for a month. And it drops at sharp 8 in the morning. Prettttty early by my standards. My whole routine has taken a 180 degrees turn.
I sleep early fearing I won’t wake up on time. The fear is such that I feel guilty in staying up late, how people on diet cringe when they eat high calorie food. I even have to leave from work at a fixed time. I get a feeling like I was some carefree bird few days back who is now caged. I even figured(in just a span of 8 days by cab) that I prefer chaos more to a set routine. What is happeningggggggg?
Anyway, came across a resonating word today (Source: TFD)
So here’s what I am doing right now, staying awake, which I love.
Mornings, Early sleeps: With all due respect, Buzz Off!
Tomorrow, I’ll be shifting to a new house. Somehow managed to pack my stuff with an injured feet through a friend’s help. She was a blessing in disguise. I have been staying in the current room for about three years. To be honest, I am a bit anxious about leaving this place, that I have grown pretty comfortable staying at. Probably the reason why I am writing about it on my last night here.
It took a little while but this became my home. Memories. Moments of all kinds, nerve-wrecking and some breath-taking. Funny as it may sound but this house has witnessed me grow, been my humble abode on good and bad days.
I guess the feeling is natural. You get attached, and then you have to let go. Of course it is a tad bit more flummoxing to people who are emotional, isn’t it? Time to bid adieu. Here’s to changes, for the better. :).
Change is never easy, yet change is the only constant.
Let every other minutest thing change in me, about me, around me;
I’ll stay the same for you.
Look what I got here! A thought stumbled upon me (due to sleeplessness), to check on the daily prompt for today, have never done it before. And the topic for today is as perennial and persistent as water. I was like,,,uhh!! and ummm!! what do I say about such ubiquitous an entity.
I need to drink more of it,
Shed less of it from my eyes,
Relish plenty of it on the sea shores,
Soak all of it during the lovely rains,
Jump often in it when I get the chance to,
Find my own course, as water always does.
P.S.: On that note, another new thing I am planning to do, teach for fun. Still formulating, have to be recruited first. Let’s see! Will keep posted.