It is strange how sometimes the regular stuff you do becomes irregular and out of sync. Like I am reading after long today, lying awake at 3.25 in the morning, taking screen shots of quotes I like, watching TV shows I enjoy, listening to interviews of my favorite actors, doing stuff I regularly do, after a long pause in time. Have been busy of late, happily busy if I may add. But this feels right. No judgements; no opinions. Safe space in my own bubble.
My bff told me, these are my escape routes, things that I do when I am alone. But it ain’t quite true. I find comfort in these things. I am missing time to do these mundane things. So..what do we do, when world around us changes? We change a bit too, yet keep intact these proclivities. Quirks that make you, you.
You did not make a conscious effort.
Did not sweep me off my feet.
Didn’t throw any subtle clues.
Made no promises to falter on later.
Two people getting along, on a lazy Sunday;
You just beautifully saved my day.
Should I stop conversing because the negativity turns me down? I think I talk less to people because I don’t know what they might say next to piss me off. Yes, a totally wrong approach. But I stay rather at peace without the struggle to understand motives behind other’s words. No matter how well you know the person, they have this dorky side they will present you with and then you question your own sanity for being friends with such a dork! I guess something is wrong with my internal wiring, that in my hunky dory state I scavenge and find reasons to turn blue. Yes, sadness is way more poetic and all things beautiful. If you want you can forever swim in that ocean but try diving into the happiness pond please! Try soaking in the sun with all its radiance and warmth. You are sufficient. Aren’t you? Chuck naysayers. I want to say fuck…okay fuck them. Peace out.
Friday night. Wintery vibes.
Laziness sinking in.
Words ringing in, rest, repose, peace, calm, relief, phew, wow.
Some may have super fun plans ahead.
Some are already daunted by the idea of boredom in no company(c’mon you guys).
Some are going to revel in crowd, socialize, catch up, mingle.
Some would need their own space, coffee, novel, bed, a day to kill.
For some weekend is no different from other days.
While others are screaming TGIF! TGIF!
Fridays are my favorite.
Plan or no plans, they give me ample reasons to rejoice.
Don’t we just wait for them all week and push all our lump of activities to be done in the next two days!
Hair cut, laundry, movie, shopping, outing, eating, boozing, cleaning, meeting: weekend..weekend..weekend.
For this weekend, I am really looking forward to my extended sleeps, the pizza I am going to savour, painting my nails, cleaning up my room, may be cooking something. Okay let’s not plan way ahead!
I am glad you have arrived.
Love you Fridaysss!!!
Because today is a different day altogether! Some days sail smoothly. And some are like wading through the mud. Slow. Dragging. Heavy. Cumbersome. I try to keep in mind that it is a part of the process. Every path won’t be adorned with roses. Every shade of color won’t soothe your eyes. Every food item you eat won’t spring up your taste buds. We have to know bad to realize how important good is. I guess that is nature’s way of balancing things. We see some pretty, and we see some ugly. That’s how we grow. So dear nerves, rest a little. We’ll take dives again.
Say you are drowning…but you have a life jacket on…so, hypothetically you are drowning(only in your head)…you are filled with consternation and you start moving your hands and feet in all directions..impatient..restless..scared..looking for something to hang on..something to hold on to. What do you find? That it is only worsening your situation. Water is buzzing in through your nose and ears. Then something hits you..you spread your arms and just set free..thinking let me try this too, how worse could it get! That is when miracle happens and suddenly you are floating in peace, gazing at the clear sky..hearing the birds chirp…taking in the greenery around you.
This was one of my rafting experiences but how easily could one relate it to life!
Why don’t we just stop panicking and let loose?
They say nights belong to poets and madmen.
Everything works out…life goes on..we walk past the moments gone by…you carry on..I move on…things happen..days run along..minutes turn into months and months shape into years…seasons roll by…flip flap flip flap…time slips away like water through my hands…I settle..I sober up..normalcy runs through my veins again..BUT nights….darn the nights don’t pass..they feel eternally long.