Eventful ride

images-4Ever since we happened, I tend to realize what was missing in I. No, the sky is still blue, the trees are still green, but I have caught on an assimilating hue to the surroundings. As if I fit in the frame some how. It feels as though my hourglass had been tilted horizontal to stand still and now I find, the time is running again. I am growing to be more accepting of the change, less restricted to my flaws. Still unprepared but less wary of the future. You have got me too occupied in the present. To my surprise, this doesn’t seem new, but quaintly familiar. Are you a part of me from the yore that went missing and later decided to come back? Words ain’t helping. You say I am happier in love. May be, unwind my happiness then?

Quandary

Days when I don’t talk, I am waiting for the storm to settle. For my senses to resurface. Run back to the routine. Everything is bleak yet there is a comfort in the unknown. I am all up for novel experiences, and this unabashed uncertainty is the first of its sorts. Did I say too much, do I go too far? Where do I stand? What do I want? Days when I am not talking, these rigmarole of questions keep hitting my conscience.

I am wading away from the past, subconsciously. It pricks me a bit because past was my idea of perfection. Now, it is gone. But present is here, and present looks good too. :).

Curbing Cynicism

Once you have seen something bad…been through something wrong..your mind becomes cautious. You don’t trust easily…you doubt every good action done to you…you read between the lines…watch every step you take with circumspection. The spontaneity you once fostered is missing..you are wary of taking a full dive this time..you are scared to put your efforts into something new..with the fear of consequences. How wrong could it go? How bad could it be? You’ll hit the ground again? One should never stop believing in miracles. That’s what I have read..seen a zillion times in movies..heard in motivational talks.

If one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better.

I guess Jane Austen is trying to put some sense into me from the yore. Your past may be blue, grey or yellow. It won’t help you determine your present or future’s tint. So I would say..Jump in, again!