Eventful ride

images-4Ever since we happened, I tend to realize what was missing in I. No, the sky is still blue, the trees are still green, but I have caught on an assimilating hue to the surroundings. As if I fit in the frame some how. It feels as though my hourglass had been tilted horizontal to a standstill and now I find, the time is running again. I am growing to be more accepting of the change, less restricted to my flaws. Still unprepared but less wary of the future. You have got me too occupied in the present. To my surprise, this doesn’t seem new, but quaintly familiar. Are you a part of me from the yore that went missing and later decided to come back? Words ain’t helping. You say I am happier in love. May be, unwind my happiness then?
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Considering My Options

What do I write today?
Hope: Whatever you want your grand children to read in future and smile!
Skepticism: I am not sure I’ll reach to a point of having grand children.
Faith: Oh sure you will. Okay, write about something you believe in.
Insecurity: What can I possibly offer that hasn’t been said already?
Mind: Every individual brings something new to the plate.
Heart: Let’s just go ahead and lament about lost love and what could have been!
Angel elf: You don’t have to be sad all the time. Temperate is good too. Take time.
Demon elf: Sulk baby sulk. Better than that, complain about people who have done wrong to you!
Strength: Why not encourage others? On how things always get better. Trust your instincts.
Desire: Create something magical. Your words shall enchant.
Girly side: Let’s talk about the pretty dresses you bought and ooo! those nail paints.
Independence: Let’s not waste time figuring out people. Explore broader horizons.
Persnicketiness: Watch you words.
Conscience: Chuck it all. Do what you want!

One dainty human and a sea of emotions! Today we just wonder about the possibilities.

Teeny-Weeny Cravings

If your friends start judging you..they seem less like a friend. Just be on my corner! Is that so hard? Okay this is off topic.
Past one week has been pretty much mechanical. Sleep. Eat. Work. Home. Sleep. And Loop. Haven’t checked out any latest youtube videos, haven’t checked any new stocks on shopping sites, haven’t read much or eaten anything delicious..days are rolling by. I want to travel more. Want to rumble in the dust more often. Want to drench in the rain. Want to feel that blissful air on top of mountain peaks..want my feet in the river..and want the lush greenery. Want coffee with friends on a terrace top. Want little bruises from a lover that I could secretly smile on about later. Want mom ke haath ka khana(home cooked food!). Want to be a free spirit!
Recalling those lines Ranbir Kapoor iterates in a movie…Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon … bus rukna nahi chahta. Fly. Run. Fall. Just don’t want to stop.
Will do something to come out of this humdrum routine. Till then, ciao!

Untitled. State of mind.

Words are not coming out for the thoughts creeping inside my head. How often do we decide something and the plan falls off track? Things not going on our accord. So you just accept the situation. Your friends are acting weird. Accept. You acting weird. Accept. Tired of same old questions. Accept. Your weaknesses. Accept. Unwavering love from parents. Accept. Surprising moments. Accept. Words from others, good and bad. Accept. For some reason, I am breaking inside, bit by bit. I can feel it in my bones. I put up a good face. A happy face. And at times I am genuinely happy too. But people have failed me. Or probably they are in the process. Or to put it correctly my belief in them seems to be faltering. I don’t know. I have got to let them be. That’s the right thing. This all sounds very negative, very blue. That is the problem. My emotions are on a roller coaster ride. And it’s not some PMS talking. It is me. They are taking swings, hopping around like those bouncing balls. I used to love playing with them as a kid and apparently now I have become one. I am not a self contained person. There. Accepted. And I think I’ll turn into one. By hook or by crook. May be it is for the good.